On Virtue

Kaleen C. Polakoff
1 July 2009

MY ESSAY ON VIRTUE


Repeating over and over in the past few months has been a resounding call to return to virtue. I think that I am a virtuous person; but as I have studied Plato’s Apology and Crito, I have been greatly moved to examine myself. I want to do better and be better than in the past. I look at where I have been and the direction that I am heading. I want to leave a legacy that my children will want to emulate.
At one time, I was a stay-at-home mom. I was into popular fiction and not always the best of books. I watched soap operas in the afternoon. In the evening, I watched the latest crime drama with my husband. I was babysitting and doing a newspaper route to try to make ends meet. I was sinking further and further in debt due to medical bills. My faltering marriage was the worst part of my life.
A classic book changed my life. I picked up Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families. I gained a desire to change my life, not by changing others, but by changing me. The first step was to become honest with myself about what I was doing and where I was going. I made a commitment to follow what I feel is my mission—to change the world for the better—through teaching. It took me awhile to get up the courage to go back to school, renew my teaching certificate, and find a full time teaching job.
The next momentous change came when I was hired to teach in a charter school that was trying to adhere to a different set of principles. I was handed A Thomas Jefferson Education written by Oliver Van DeMille. From reading the book, I found a way to become the kind of teacher that I wanted to become. I no longer want to be a teacher, but a mentor.
As I began to pursue a “great education”, my life began to change. Long gone are the days of watching soap operas and reading insignificant books. Every spare moment is filled with Plato, Homer, and Aristotle, filled with thoughts that are new to me, but reach back to antiquity. Again, I ponder “how can these words change my life for the better?”
I am still not out of debt, but I now see living a life of integrity is the only way to get out of debt. I must have the courage to ask hard questions of myself. I must be honest with what I really want and what I really desire. Now, I must do the hard work of living the life that I say I want to live.
I know that it can be done. My father lived such a life. At my father’s funeral, words such as honest, hard-working, self-sacrificing, loving, and a “good man” were used to describe him. Even the way my father approached death—not complaining, not bemoaning his fate, but showing concern for others and giving them pleasant memories—is standard and a legacy that will live on in children and grandchildren. His life was, as Emerson would say, a “benediction.”
My plan for the future is continue reading all of those classic books that I have not gotten to, yet. As part of my plan, I want to instill a love and a desire in my children to pursue a “great education.” I want to instill in them a desire to learn from the “best of books” and find the application to their lives. I hope that they will want a life of virtue. And last of all, I hope they find that I lived a life that was true to my beliefs—one of virtue.